Thursday, August 29, 2013

Detroit literally can't afford paper


Detroit’s funeral directors received this unusual text message last month. “FYI, city of Detroit can’t process death certificates because they have no paper and don’t have money to buy any.” 
The message, from a fellow funeral director, was mostly true: The city did stop issuing certified copies of birth and death certificates on July 23, days after the July 18 bankruptcy filing. That day, a nervous paper vendor demanded cash — and the city wanted to do business as usual, on credit. 
From The Detroit News: http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20130829/METRO01/308290046#ixzz2dNLOvE8c

Well, I'm officially moving to Detroit. Not because I can buy a house for a penny, but because, you literally, can't legally die in the city. Eventhough by moving to Detroit, you will more than likely die sooner, rather than later, it's the whole tree falling in the forest thing. If no one is around to legally confirm it, you're technically not dead.

How bad off financially do you have to be to not be able to afford a piece of paper. It's basically the least expensive thing on the planet. And nice FYI message Detroit. Were you looking for some pity on behalf of the funeral directors? Secretly hoping that by sending out a FYI text message, the director will bring you a couple of reams of paper?

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